Your message and other things you say

I watched the very cute movie “Charlotte’s Web” last night with the family.  I was awed by the technical aspects of the film combining live animals, puppets (there’s probably a better term), and virtually generated animals.  But two lines of the film jumped out at me and have a direct impact on our communications.  Today you get two nuggets for the price of one — two for Tuesday.

First, when Charlotte (the spider) was addressing the barn animals, she used some big words.  This helped to develop the character of the runt pig Wilbur and to give the spider some authority in the barnyard.  One of the animals says, “Man, can that spider talk.“  And another responds, “Yeah, but what did she say, exactly?“

My blog title is based on this.  We used lots of words.  We give off non-verbal signals.  We have a plan.  But what do we say?  And does it match?  We drone on and on about our businesses, but what do we say?  We speak things to loved ones, but what do we say? We explain our situation, product, and feelings, but what do we say, exactly?  This is critical stuff, and insight only a cartoon can give.

What are you saying, exactly?

My second moment was after the “Some Pig” message had lost its allure.  The crowds disappeared.  The barnyard loses its life.  The animals all want something amazing to happen.  Narrator: “What was amazing yesterday had suddenly become ordinary again today.“

This is the problem with most of our efforts in life.  We work hard to make something amazing happen, and it is no longer amazing.  We can easily lose our desire to even try to make the next amazing thing.  Yet there are so many things we simply MUST do.  And if we view them as amazing, we are inspired, and can inspire others.

What amazing thing has become ordinary in your life?

While I was planning for a keynote I gave this past week, I made a quiz about product brands and catchy phrases.  Here are some of them — see if you can name who they stand for:

• Snap! Crackle! Pop!
• We do chicken right
• Quality is Job One
• Don’t leave home without it
• When ____ talks, people listen
• Have it your way
• Like a rock
• Be all that you can be
• We try harder
• ____ spells relief
• Sometimes you feel like a nut; sometimes you don’t

If you get them all correct, you’re dating yourself, because many of these are a couple of decades old!  I quit at 68 phrases — I thought that was enough. 

The talking point of my keynote was “simpler“.  As I looked at the quiz, something jumped off the page at me.  In the 68 phrases, only three of them had a single word longer than two syllables!  People who market products and need their message to be retained use short words.  Short and simple.  I think it works for those of us who speak as well.

Keep your message simple.  Use short words.

P.S. Answers: Rice Krispies, KFC, Ford, American Express, E.F. Hutton (out of business in 1988!), Burger King, Chevy trucks, Army, Avis, Rolaids, Almond Joy/Mounds

P.S. #2  The only word (not name) in this post that has more than two syllables is the word syllable.  I could not find a good word to replace it.  It took twice as long to write — I expect it takes half as long to read.

I overheard a presenter using PowerPoint recently say: “On this next slide, there’s a lot of information and it’s sort of complicated, so I’m not going to spend a lot of time on it.“  He was in complete command and knowledge of the content, but this still slips out.  And, sadly, I’ve heard it and its variants hundreds of times.

I often wonder what a presenter thinks the audience is supposed to do with a statement like this:

• Ignore everything said/shown until the next slide pops up?
• Try to figure out something of value from the slide?
• Make my own conclusions about the data?
• Cross my eyes and hallucinate until I dream it says something important?
• Sleep?

Since the presenter doesn’t know what to do with the information, there is no way the audience will, either.  Let’s break down the statement and its problems phrase by phrase.

“On this next slide…”
I actually love this.  It’s a preview.  It let’s people know what’s coming.  Good beginning.

“…there’s a lot of information…”
The presenter’s goal should be to distill information into manageable chunks.  Every visual should have exactly one point.  Information/data is great, but there needs to be one conclusion (on each slide) from it.  I was focused and ready for “the next slide”, but now I have no idea what deserves my attention.

“…it’s sort of complicated…”
This again sets up a negative expectation.  Apparently I am too dumb to figure out what the data means. 

“…I’m not going to spend a lot of time on this slide.”
Not only am I unable to understand it, but I don’t have time to figure it out.  That which is important is worth my time, so I can only assume this isn’t important. Thus I have wonder what it’s doing in the presentation in the first place.

Use data to draw conclusions.  Use visuals to help you make points.

Even if you are politically opposed to Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown, you cannot deny that he has burst on the national political scene. It is rare that we get an audience as focused as he enjoyed last night — ‘normal’ Senators share the election spotlight across 50 states and the District of Columbia. Mr. Brown had the spotlight last night, and his acceptance speech could make or break him. Those are high stakes.

Bert Decker blogged about his impact already.  I value Bert’s insights (he’s trained 200,000 people!).  I enjoyed the video.  I’d offer a few suggestions for Senator Brown:

1. He needs to modulate his voice more and become more conversational.  He has a strong voice.  But he spoke in overdrive the whole time.  I know this is a pep rally, but especially as he talks about personal things, he should let the microphones do its job and not try to push so hard.  I’m sure the adrenaline was pumping.
2. He needs to control his repetitive gestures, especially the banging of the lectern.  Several times he was pointing on every word.  Hillary Clinton used to do this, and was considered “angry” because of it.
3. He should pause a moment more before starting sentences.  He repeatedly started sentences with the conjunction “and”.  His challenge in that environment is the constant interruption of applause, but he should still start sentences cleanly as a new thought.

When I watch good communicators on a big stage, I ask myself, “What would you say?”  That makes me admire such communicators all the more — when you have so much riding on a speech, it is not an easy question.  I thought Scott Brown started very strong.  He has our attention — now is the time for him to step up his communication. 

Like all of us, he can improve.  Like few of us, he had a global opportunity and excelled.

What are you doing to improve?  What stakes are riding on your communication today?

In a conversation with someone who believes in what I do, they told me, “You are giving people a gift.  You convince them the pain of public speaking is survivable.”

As someone who long ago overcame a fear of presenting in public (now I LIKE it!), it’s hard to remember those fears (the Curse of Knowledge).  But enough students come to me with candid apprehension (worry, anxiety, dread, panic, and even horror) that I cannot ignore the reality that a large chunk of the populous legitimately doesn’t like it.  In a safe environment, I lead them to the other side (I don’t expect or demand they like it, but I do expect and demand that they become competent and influential in doing it).

When I was in grad school, an elderly man lived next door.  A card-carrying extrovert whose wife was bed-ridden, he delighted in the few moments he could get outside and would talk to me about anything and everything.  As a WWII veteran, occasionally he would talk about the war.  I remember one of his comments quite vividly as he related his experience in the Battle of the Bulge.  He said, “That battle taught me something very important.  It taught me how much the human mind and body can withstand.“  If you’re even marginally familiar with the history of that epic battle, you’ll know the Allied forces withstood bitter cold, dwindling supplies, and an entrenched and powerful enemy within earshot. Perhaps their greatest challenge was the dipping morale and the will to push forward.  They did, and a key strategic turning point was affected.

I don’t equate public speaking to war.  I’m fortunate enough to have escaped the latter and fortunate to have engaged the former.  But it really has some parallels.  Our life and opportunities are slipping away.  The enemy (the audience?!) is entrenched and we can see them.  As fear takes its grip, it’s our own will that is challenged most.

But we must win.  The experience is survivable.  And when we know what we can endure, we are able to excel and push to accomplishments and influence we would not otherwise have. 

What do you need to survive and push through?  How will you accomplish it?

I listened to an audio summary of Stephen R. Covey’s “The Speed of Trust” today.  There’s some good stuff in there.

This blurb drew my attention: “We (the speakers) judge by intent; they (the audience) judge by observable behavior.  You need to declare your intent to actively influence the conclusions others draw about your behavior, or they’ll make their own assumptions.“

There are two nuggets I regularly teach in there:

1. People make their perceptions and judgments about speakers more from what the speaker does than what the speaker says.  This is hard for really smart people to believe.  They know their stuff and they expect that knowledge to woo the audience.  It seldom does.  In class I have people speak about inane topics like belly button lint, skinny dipping, and cloaking devices.  Once they’ve learned the skills we are working on, they invevitably sound like an expert.  It’s a wonderful exercise that the audience really ‘gets’  — behavior drives impressions.  I teach this daily to my kids as well.  I tell them they can do whatever they want; it’s the consequences and perceptions of others that they cannot choose.
2. Lead with a statement of ownership.  Let everyone know where you stand.  Instead of a dogmatic statement that divides an audience, lead with an owned statement of opinion that promotes dialog and has the audience asking, “Why does he believe that?“  It sure beats them thinking, “He’s an idiot.“

Of course, if #1 and #2 are not consistent, then we have a discrepancy, and what the audience believes is truly a mystery.  The great study by Dr. Albert Mehrabian applies here.  A lot has been written about his study (see here, for instance), but it is misquoted more than it is correctly referenced.  The takeaway: Make your communication behavior consistent with your message.  That’s something we should all agree on.

Lead with your claim — match your behavior to that claim.  Gain the audience’s trust and get their attention and action.

I’ve run into a lot of people networking lately, and the icebreaker and #1 question on everybody’s mind is “What do you do?“.  How I answer that question usually determines where the conversation will go.

I have lots of proven ideas and techniques for HOW to deliver the message — it’s the message that everybody seems to struggle with.  At a business networking event the other night, our 30 minutes allotted to The Pitch turned into a 2+ hour marathon as we all critiqued and brainstormed ways to make our pitches better.  Everyone agreed — it’s hard to get it right.  While it’s easy to say what’s wrong with a pitch, it’s harder to figure out what a good one sounds like.

Let’s set the parameters:

1. It has to be a maximum of two (2) sentences.  Aim for 8 seconds, tops.
2. It has to clearly convey what you do and how that relates to the listener.
3. It has to be something they can repeat — or at least the idea of it.
4. Bonus points if it’s cute, pithy, and makes them go “Wow!“

What are the techniques or principles you use to garner interest in your Pitch?  Shoot me a comment or drop a line and I’ll summarize and break them down in a later post.

Know and practice your Pitch.

I love the hope a New Year brings.  I hate the realization that it seldom comes to pass.  I’ve spent the better part of the last quarter thinking about what I want to accomplish in 2010. 

In a discussion the other day, I asked bluntly, “What is a manager’s job?“  I had some ideas already, and none of them involved meetings.

The answer I got was lockstep with those thoughts.  “To make his/her people better.“

As an independent, I’m not a manager, and I don’t think I’d enjoy being one.  I have enough trouble getting myself to do all the work that has to be done.  But I absolutely love making people better.  It is the very essence of my business and what gets me up day after day.  And it seems to be a great focus for 2010.

2009 ended with some great successes.  It seems that the last few groups of people I taught were just ripe for the lessons that I had to give them.  The results were wonderful, immediate, and life-changing.  I can’t wait for 2010 and next week to get underway and do it some more.  I had “life-changing” in some promotional materials and my copywriter made me take them out.  He said it was too abstract.  But that’s exactly what I want to do more of — changing lives.

Side note: If you are a manager, focus more on improving your underlings than getting them to “do” something.  You’ll be better, and your organization and the people you serve will be, too.

Side note #2: Making someone better involves a whole lot less of telling them what is wrong and a whole lot more of providing the tools to help them get it right.  

Side note #3: While it’s easy to get inspired to make others better, what are we doing to make ourselves better?  I have my list.  I want you to make one, too.

Make someone better.  Start with yourself.