As we careen towards the holidays and New Year, I am forced by a teenage daughter to listen to Christmas music at every turn.  I am able to deny her until Thanksgiving (she uses headphones until then), but ‘Tis the Season as they say and now her smiling face cannot be denied. As I contemplate one of my most dreaded times of year (the busy holidays) followed by my favorite time of year (a new year and a new beginning), I decided to write a holiday tune to lift your spirits.  I encourage you to sing out loud as you read this so that all your office-mates will know your speaking expertise and appreciate your fine musical talent.  Be sure to sing loud.


This little ditty is sung to the common holiday tune The Twelve Days of Christmas (you’re welcome for getting THAT stuck in your head today!).  I’ve written one version from the speaker perspective and another from the audience’s perspective. They highlight the GAP that exists between the two groups and show how difficult it can be to create content and perform adequately on stage to a distracted and demanding audience.


On the twelfth day of speaking, my AUDIENCE gave to me:

  • Twelve hecklers heckling
  • Eleven people leaving
  • Ten pens a-clicking
  • Nine ladies chatting
  • Eight requests for my PowerPoint
  • Seven throats a clearing
  • Six questions that have nothing to do with my topic
  • Five-star reviews «««««
  • Four calling phones
  • Three French accents
  • Two mics with feedback
  • And a standing ov-a-tion


After twelve hours of speaking, my SPEAKER gave to me

  • Twelve minutes over
  • Eleven random thank you’s
  • Ten lame animations
  • Nine stuttered non-words
  • Eight rabbits chasing
  • Seven copyrighted images
  • Six technical glitches
  • A five second pause (…)
  • Four callbacks
  • Three bullet points
  • Two stupid jokes
  • And a clear call to action


Enjoy the close to your year.  May you experience Peace and Blessings as we count down to 2020.



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